Why Have I Lost My Passion?

Why have I lost my passion… and creativity?

Hey guys,

Thanks for checking out another one of my blogs.

I’ve been really taking the time to start writing down more of my thoughts and experiences with you guys on a deeper level.

Here’s something I dealt with last year when I lost my passion for a lot of things… especially when it came to my creativity and my own personality!

So during the Pandemic…

I was going back & forth on what I wanted to focus on going into 2020…

I’ve done so many things over the last few years that I wanted to really hone in on a single skill that could help me generate residual income for myself, so i went on to learn everything i could about online sales funnels & creating courses…

Because I was already doing affiliate marketing & knew that if I wanted to take my business to the next level, I would have to master the perfect funnel.

But what it did was take me away from making YouTube videos & just creating content in general…. Stuff that I actually like to do!

It had been months since I shot an actual video with me talking & just sharing value or just sharing what was on my mind.

And what happened was every time I turned on the camera & was about to shoot a video, I would just freeze up, like I’m paralyzed or something…

I JUST COULDN’T DO IT!

Every time I would try, I just had such low self esteem.
– Im not as charismatic as I used to be
– No one is going to watch this
– I’m going to look like a loser

You know, most of my life, i never shyed away from attention or being on camera, but for some odd reason whenever I tried to start doing videos again, it was just hard man!

I was filled with so much anxiety!!

I felt like there was me trying to share, & there was that other side of me that tried to silence me.

It was like a civil war inside my head that I couldn’t stop & I had to continually power through it!

During this time that I was trying to rebuild my personal brand… going through these struggles, it definitely demotivated me to do anything!

The longer I hadn’t gone without making videos or creating content, I felt like I was losing my creativity altogether!

I started to lose all the things that I had allowed myself to build my personality.

And I didn’t realize it at the time, but as much as people need YouTube for information & education… I need YouTube for expression & to get back the confidence I once had!

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I would watch some of the old videos that I created a couple years ago when I was at the peak my business, I was traveling & making money, & not really giving a fuck about what anyone thought of me…

  • To more recently where I see myself & I’m like what are you doing?
  • You don’t believe in yourself.
  • You’re not confident
  • You’re not as charismatic
  • You’re worrying about what people are thinking about you
  • You’re worrying about what you’re gonna say
  • You’re worrying about what you think about yourself

And at the time I didn’t realize this but when I stopped making videos, I started losing my charisma

It was weird for me because during the lockdowns & quarantine, I wasn’t training it.

Everyday I was just in front of my computer like, ‘Blahhhhhh…’

Just in front of my screen all day pressing buttons & getting really analytical.

 

I don’t know if you guys ever experienced this but I have a really creative brain and a really analytical brain.

My only problem is they cannot exist at the same time in my brain!

Like I’m either very creative & very in flow & natural…

Or I’m very analytical & anxious & what not!

And I knew it was getting really bad when it was getting hard for me to relax… mind you I’ve been working from home for the longest, but when I’m at home, my mind would constantly be racing & I could never relax.

 

Every time I closed my eyes I was worried about how I’m going to make MORE money or the lack thereof.

It was training me to be in this fight or flight response if I was going to make any money today or if I was going to lose a lot of money today!

And living in that fight or flight response for a long time, even if it’s just a couple of weeks, it starts training your body to start feeling that naturally.

I started realizing the more emotions we feel consistently on a daily basis that becomes our set-points!

And again it was during this time where I reached a very low place of confidence & self esteem!

 

There were time where something bad would happen & I would consistently blame myself.

  • I would destroy myself
  • I would consistently self sabotage myself

It was then that I realized I was going in a downwards spiral in all aspects of my life

  • In my health, I stopped dieting & going to the gym
  • My relationships with people, I stopped talking to people because it made me so anxious
  • My finances also took a dip

I started accepting the fact that maybe this is the life God wants for me.

And I started to believe that when I was living in the analytical part of my brain.

 

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The reason I’m here now back out in the open is that I’m attempting to get back to where I used to be.
Confident & not so scared of peoples opinions about me.

I was tired of being a victim & letting my limiting beliefs hold me back… limiting beliefs that aren’t even true.

I wasn’t used to these limiting beliefs & self doubts that I didn’t have since I was in college!

But I know that in order to will power my way to the becoming the person I want to be, I need to just do the things I know I have to do.

 

Remember, it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to what’s happening to you!

Then there’s things in life that come where it’s just like, “ Okay Lorenz, it’s time to grow again buddy! You been in this funk for too long! It’s time to grow again!”

So that’s where I’m at… but throughout this year (2021), I’ve actually been able to work a lot on myself and have managed to recreate and find my passion for creating again.

I sold my old GoPro vlogging setup and bought a brand new Canon M50 as motivation to start getting back in front of the camera again!

 

I am super grateful for you checking out my blog.

Please let me know if you resonate with my story.

2 thoughts to “Why Have I Lost My Passion?”

  1. First of all thanks Lorenz for sharing this tough phase of your life where everything was gone wrong no matter how hard we tried. I also feel very low when suddenly I lost my passion and things started to get darker in front of my eyes. The past two years are the most difficult time for everyone when the whole world is facing the pandemic and tragically many lives are affected financially and emotionally. There is so much negativity out there and to sustain in these tough times is needs a great deal of courage and character otherwise you are diluted in the crowd. Self-doubt is more infectious than any disease and it can break you easily and changes someone completely. Suddenly you have lost all your good qualities and feels worthless. And most importantly it disconnects you from the world and breaks your health. At last thank, you for your courage to get out from that and started doing what you have done best. Everyone is special no matter what they do or looks like.

    1. Preetam! Thank you once again. Yes, I’m just trying to do my best to share and help as many people as i can through my struggles and experiences! 

      Thank you again. I wish you much abundance and success!

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