Howzit going guys!
My entire life I was always afraid to have the real world really understand who was the Lorenz that I really am.
And because of that, I would spend a lot of time creating this almost false persona of just trying to impress everyone.
But the more I started to put on this mask of how I wanted to be viewed by everyone around me, the more I started to get out of tune with who I actually was…
And the more insecure & unhappy I that I felt.
This is such a poisonous thing right…
To be something you’re not.
To try & show this image of who you are to just make people think you’re cool…
And it was really for the seeking of validation from other people.
I don’t really know why I do this & it’s a trait I don’t really like about myself.
And I’ve never really told anyone this, but even as I’m talking about it now, I still have those thoughts like what would people think about me now, how will they judge me…
Every little thing, I was conscious about.
I feel anxiety & insecure about everything.
It’s like everything I say or do, is enhanced so much because I overthink things all the time… I overanalyze everything in my brain.
It’s like an insecurity that breeds from comparison.
Im constantly comparing myself to other people, even when I try not to.
And when I see people who I perceive to be ahead of me in life, or people who I know for a fact don’t work hard as me, but are doing the things I actually want to be doing.
I sorta feel overwhelmed because I don’t know the steps that they took to get to that level of success…
And it’s that moment when I start to look at all the things that they have that I don’t… that I lose sight of all the things that I have & should be grateful for.
How many of you feel this way?
Feel free to reach out if you need anyone to talk with!
